And The Gods Wept
by Seras Serenity
Summary: Colleen can't sleep....not until she knows the answer to a very important question. A Cadrian oneshot.


Disclaimer: All characters are property of The Young & The Restless

"And The Gods Wept"  
by Seras Serenity

She held her breath within the darkness, afraid to breathe. The seconds crawled by painfully. Lying on her side, wrapped in Adrian's arms, she realized that he must've fallen asleep. Which was probably better, anyway...the question had slipped past her lips before she could stop it. '_Note to self,' _she thought, _'get lips stapled shut.' _

"Why what?" The very much awake response from her lover starlted her.

For a moment, she said nothing, and bit her lip nervously. Her hands absently toyed with the sheets that covered them. How did she say what she was thinking? He would think she was being a silly adolescent if she explained the reasons behind her question. They sounded idiotic, even in her own mind.

"Nothing. It's not important,"she lied. Better not to go there. A peace keeper by nature, she settled her head onto the pillow, feeling it was far wiser to retreat than risk hearing answers she might not like.

His arms disentagled from her body, and she felt the matress shift. For a moment, she found herself with the urge to pull the covers over her head and shut her eyes. Yeah, like that would make it all go away. Could she be any more childish? She wasn't four years old, and Adrian wasn't the boogeyman, despite his behavior before his morining coffee.

"I don't think it's nothing", he said carefully. "If you want to know something, just ask." Suddenly, his lips were pressed beside her ear and his voice took on a seductive edge. His words sent delicious shivers along her body. "I am, however, a strong believer in quid pro quo."

Rolling over, she looked at Adrian, taking in the playful glint of amicable trouble that lit his eyes, and lips that displayed a boyish grin. Blushing, she ducked her head, avoiding eyes that saw too much, far too easily.

"Colleen."

Fingers feathered across her cheek, and she pressed against them, reassured by their warmth.

"Look at me."

When she hesitated, Adrian cupped her chin and tilted her head to meet his eyes. They were rimmed with worry. "You asked me a question, and I'd like to try to answer it. But I can't do that until I understand what you're asking. So tell me...why what? And I promise-' he said, 'this isn't an attempt at employing the Socratic Method here." She laughed a little at his attempt to lighten the mood, but it did nothing to lessen her unease. She reminded herself to breathe.

"Ok...I mean, it's not like I don't believe you...", she started defensively. God, why did she even have to be so lame and bring it up? Idiot, idiot, idiot! Adrian didn't say anything, simply waited for her to continue, trusting that she would. Which made it all the more important to find the right words. Sucking in a breath and sighing, she tried again.

"Look, I know what some people think of me. Pampered princess, rich bitch with the silver spoon in her mouth,'she said, and hated herself for the pain she knew was in her voice. "I know what _you_ thought of me when you first met me." She held her hand up in a plea for silence when she saw Adrian start to protest. "The point is...I know that I'm not an easy person. I can be moody and defensive, and sometimes I can come off as superior. And...and...I have my moments of selfishness, I admit it. And a severe case of bed hair in the mornings, and I have an addiction to caffeine that I'm never, ever going to break, and that's why I have to know! I mean, knowing all that, _why?_ " She looked into Adrian's eyes, and asked what she thought was the most important question she'd ever asked in her life.

"Why do you love me?"

The silence in the room was deafening, and she struggled no to throw off the covers and lock herself in the bathroom. It was out at least, instead of eating at her insides. But when Adrian still didn't speak, fear took over and she fell back onto the bed. "I told you it wasn't important...just my mouth running ahead of my mind", she said bitterly.

"No." She was suprised when Adrian spoke. "No, it's a legitimate question. And one which has reasons as many as the stars in the sky, Colleen." His quiet admission caught her totally off gaurd, and for a moment she was uncharacteristically at a loss for words.

"There is _one_ reason in particular" he said. "But I didn't say anything, because I was afraid it might scare you off." As he spoke, he reached down and caught her foot. Smiling wickedly, he stroked it suggestively.

"You have the sexiest feet I've ever seen."

"Excuse me?" Had Adrian just said what she thought he'd said?

"Now you know my deepest, darkest secret. I suppose it was inevitable, you finding out." He paused dramatically for effect before speaking again. "I have a foot fetish", he clarified.

"You are such an ass!", she yelled. How dare he make fun of her! Especially about something like this. She jumped out of bed, her shynss temporarily forgotten in the heat of her anger. "Do you think this is funny? You know, this is exactly why I told you to forget it! I risk telling you how I feel, and all you can do is _joke _about it?! She latched onto the anger, hoping its heat would burn away the hurt welling inside her.

Adrian slowly got out of bed to follow, and stopped a few feet from her, watching her body language to tell him if it was safe to come closer. It wasn't.

"I'm sorry if I upset you, Colleen. That wasn't my intention", he said seriously. "But now that you mention, yeah, it is kind of funny. That a woman like you, who's so talented, so bright, so...unbelievably perfect...could go throughout her entire life, and not know it." He closed the space between them until she could feel his body heat, warm and reassuring. Reaching up, he traced the outline of her lips with his thumb.

"With every breath, with every beat of your heart, Colleen...how can you not know?"

Tears pricked her eyes, and her chest tightened in response to his words. Great, now she could make an even bigger fool of herself by getting all emotional. She quickly swatted her eyes, hoping Adrian wouldn't see the evidence of unshed tears. But he did, and he caught her hands between his own.

"I think that's the problem-you don't know. Because if you did, you wouldn't even have to ask me why I love you. If you can't see yourself as you truly are...then let me tell you what it's like looking through my eyes. Let me help you _see_ what I see." His voice was so painfully tender, and his words achingly honest, that she closed her eyes in surrender.

"I see a young woman, who's as beautiful as she is spirited." He paused,kissing her eyelids. "So full of life and fire. Stronger than Atlas, with a curiosity and intelligence to rival any scholar. A modern day Hippolyta", he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice. "You're my muse, Colleen. The gods surely wept when they parted with you." He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. "And they're never getting you back, because I'm never letting you go."

Unable to hold back anymore, she buried her face into Adrian's shoulder, undone by his heartfelt words. As she cried, he stroked her hair, her anchor in a storm of tears. Whispering comforting nonsense to her, for the first time in her life, she felt truly beautiful. After she was done, she gave him a watery smile. "I think I'll have to look through your eyes more often."

He retruned her smile. "Any time", he offered.

Adrian led her back to bed, and pulled the covers over them after she'd settled in. Folding his arms around her like she was a precious treasure, she smiled contentedly. When she was just on the edge of slumber- "Besides," Adrian said, his voice laced with mirth, 'I like bed hair. It's kind of hot."

She laughed, nestling into silk sheets and Adrian, vowing to test the validity of his statement in the morning.

Author's notes: After so much angst, I wanted to do something lite and fluffy, lol. So that's what this is. IMO, it has a different style from my other fics, in that it's a bit more simplistic and the conflict is fueled more by dialogue. So please let me know what you think!


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